Confession time.

I have a confession to make...Have to say, I am really ashamed but well, sh*t happens I guess and it's not something I can do anything about or that's gonna be ok if I wait long enough.

I am going bald. And I don't mean my hair is just getting a little bit thinner. It is classic male pattern baldness also known as Alopecea Androgenetica. And yes, last time I checked I still had the girl parts but apparently it happens to some women too.

People that have known me for a long time still can remember me with bangs. I ALWAYS had bangs because my forehead was so high. Several years ago I just combed my hair to the back because my hairline started creeping up so bangs were no longer a possibility. And then I always had to wear my hair in a ponytail or a bun and now I just kind of create a fake bun...

But my hair is really getting...messy now. On top of my head I have still a few long hairs(about 10-15 :p ) and some shorter ones, you can easily see the skin through it. And my ponytail is of a really pathetic size now, a bit thicker than a pencil.

 So, ehm...yes. I may have to resort to a wig. And well, I could have expected it... My father wasn't very blessed in the hair department - he was almost bald when I was born- my mom wore a wig and my aunt still does. So it's definitely hereditary. Something to do with menopause and hormones and stuff.

I have been thinking about this for, well, years already really. And now that I have more time again because I don't work anymore...I have been looking up things on the internet. Alopecea Androgenetica... I wanted to share this with all of you first, so you can ask me if I have been to the doctor already ( I have to do that in order to get compensation from my health care insurance for that blasted wig.).

Decided I will call for an appointment for next week. You know I am already getting nervous just thinking about that? And then I still have to call and explain to the assistant why I want an appointment etc. etc. Goosebumps!

I have no idea how much time this all will take but next time you see me and my 'hair' looks great...just try to forget, ok? :p 

Thanks for letting me ramble on!

Hugz, Anna

Mama's got a brand new coat :p

Yeah, well...I still had a little bit of money left before I am really starting to get dirt poor. €70 to be exact. And I have been looking for a decent summer coat for quite a while, because I only have this short black jacket. So I was looking online for a nice coat, preferably a trench coat, in one of my favorite stores. And I found one at H&M. I just love that shop, fashionable clothing and affordable prices and every now and then a special surprise just for me ;) Like that lovely wool winter coat just in my size for only €10...That is hanging in Dan's walk-in closet in Chicago and it was perfect for church ;) Oh and did I already say I just love their plus size department?

So yesterday I jumped on my trusty scooter on my way to H&M. Gosh I love that store and I could spend loads and loads of money there, if I had loads and loads of money, haha. I went to the plus size section, they used to call that Big is Beautiful, don't know why they dropped that name. And I started looking through the racks of new arrivals. There were some 'biker' jackets and that striped tunic I love but no trench coat.

I was getting slightly bummed. Now I thought I found a perfect coat and they don't have it? Grrrr, my luck :( Oh well. There still was the sales rack so I decided to browse through that...sure I'd find something nice to comfort myself. And guess what? Yes indeed, the famous trench coat! And not only that, but in my size ànd 50% off!!!

So of course I janked that from the rack! That coat was MINE...And since I still had €35 to spare now I also took the grey and black striped tunic I have been admiring for quite some time ;) Happy me! Two items for the price of one and €10 to spare. I told the cashier I saw the same coat the day before on internet for €69,95 and she told me it got priced off just that day. So, looks like my luck is slowly turning?

Well, the weather doesn't permit me to put on my new coat yet but I am wearing the tunic, with a grey legging. (Only because my black ones are in the laundry basket and well, you know about my washing machine...been without one for over a month now :p ). But it looks good! 

Now all I have to do this week is get me a new lottery ticket, because I won my money back and who knows, with my new found luck I might even win a big prize :D 

I wish all of you lots of luck in whatever you're doing!

Hugz, Anna

Finally some news...

Hey there dear friends! It's been a while since I wrote a blog and I am so ashamed...but I have had a LOT to deal with again in the past few months. I'll try to give you some updates:

• My house. I have my wardrobe, I have internet (after sitting in the library twice a week for weeks on end :p ) and the landlord had to pay for the damages he has done. I am still living in a refurbished garage and it's still not my ideal but...I have sort of learned to live with it!
• I have been to Chicago again!!! 2 weeks with my darling, in November/December. I got to celebrate Thanksgiving and his birthday (that was the same day this year). Dan turned 46. I mean: 46!!!! He is quite a bit younger than he made me believe LOL. But he is still the same (sweet) person so I don't care ;) He was scared I wouldn't like him anymore if he told me his real age since I am 5 years older than that.
• We have set a time frame for me to emigrate to Chicago. 1-2 years max. Again: not ideal but it is something I can oversee and deal with.The whole 'process' is gonna take about 8 months anyway so...
• 3 days after I came back from vacation my supervisor at work asked me to come with her. And she told me my contract was NOT going to be renewed. Well I was like WTF! Just before Christmas my job was done. Such perfect timing. The first time they pulled one like that on me (in August) I still had to work 5 days, which I did and totally kicked ass. This time it was 10 days. And I swear: I went to work thinking I was gonna repeat that. But I couldn't. I simply couldn't. I felt literally physically ill.I was numb. And I called in sick for the remainder of time...
• I am filling out forms like crazy. Quittance for the City Council Tax, Water Tax. Forms to get on dole. And even forms to ask for special assistance because my washing machine broke and I don't have the money to get me a new one. This is all new to me. I even filled out the forms for income taxes and I should get €120,- back this year ;) But I mean, A4 envelopes full of bank statements (of 4 pages each) pay specifications, copies of my ID and stuff, at least 20 pages per envelope! And that times 4! Guess that was something I still had to learn ;) 

So, I am keeping quite busy ;) I even made 2 new friends here, ex co-workers. I got to really know them after I was fired. And they are sweethearts, they make me feel less lonely here in Alkmaar!

And my long awaited grandson is born on March 30. His name is Xavi and he's a cutie, just like his sister Layla!

I am still hoping to find a job soon again. That I don't have to wait and wait and apply for jobs and get rejected like the last time. I am not one for hand outs and I really want to work!

Well, guess this is it for now. I promise I will write soon again (I promise that a LOT don't I?)

You all just have a great day and a wonderful life!

Hugs, Anna

Yay, life is wonderful... (is it?)

Sorry peepz...Didn't really mean to but you want the truth from me right? I am sad, so very sad. I don't like my new place, it's a pimped up garage ffs. It's cold and drafty and...it has no internet! And I still have to pay the same amount of money that I had to pay in the much bigger and sunnier place I used to live in. Pisses me off really. The other place has internet too. 

But the landlord has a conflict with City Council. Something about not being allowed to divide a store/house into appartments. He had me moving in no time, I got notice one week in advance and the f*ck even 'offered to help me move' so he didn't have to wait until my kids/friends had time.

Well that resulted in me still not having my wardrobe (I mean the piece of furniture, not my clothes) and my antique bed and deskchair being damaged. And I still don't have internet although landlord promised I could leech from a neighbour. Yeah, riiiight.

I put my lawyer on it. He sent landlord a letter stating my complaints (for example about the door being rotten and drafty and not burglar-safe) and according to my lawyer landlord called him and made a lot of promises, internet should be connected October 16, heating and warm water are being looked at October 25 and he's gonna paint my door (eerrhhmmm...okay?)

It's just...well you know... Just when I think I can't get any lower I get another kick in the behind that gets me another step down. I was whining at Dan about my year from Hell taking almost 4 years now and he admitted he fibbed. A year from Hell definitely takes longer than one year :p Oh well.

You all just try to stay happy, don't let me get you down ;)

Hugz, Anna

On the move again...

It's been only 5 months since I came to live where I live now and I was happy here. I got to know the neighbourhood (a little), found our where the best shops are and the doctor and farmacy, got registered and I have rent allowance.

But now everything is going to change. Apparently there is something wrong with the legality of this place being divided into 2 appartments, the city council wants it to be a one family home. So I will have to move (or live without a kitchen and bathroom since city council wants those removed :p ).

Yesterday my landlord took me to see the new place he has for me instead of my sweet home. I was a bit...appalled. He said I could have it for the same price (yay, NOT) but it is a lot smaller than where I live now. It does have 2 little perks: it has an opening window and a slighty better bathroom than the current place.

But I am so happy the kids didn't bring me any furniture yet, because that just won't fit :p I can get my bed inthere, and my desk and wardrobe, and the 2 bookcases I have and the little dresser and of course my fridge and stove and washing machine. But that's about it.

The lady that lives there now saw the disappointment on my face and said: 'Just see it as something temporary!' She also told me where to look for council houses and she found one pretty quickly too. She also adviced me to react on 55+ houses, sometimes they don't get to fill them and others can come in then.

Oh well, I will have to pack up and go again. A very sweet collegue of mine promised she will help me and the landlord is going to help me move. I am kind of starting to feel like a hobo of sorts :p But I am sure everthing will be allright in the end. I don't know how and I don't know when but it'll all work out for sure!

Have a great day!

Hugs, Anna

Black eyed Susan

Today I got a nice surprise at work. One of my coworkers had been sick last week and she was back again. I really had missed her so I was very happy to see her! Don't know if she'll agree but I think I can call her a friend ;)

When it was time to go upstairs to work she took me by the hand and led me upstairs, took me to her cubicle. Where she gave me a very pretty plant, a Black Eyed Susan!

Had to go back to my own cubicle with that big plant and got questions and congratulations from many other coworkers. I had it in my cubicle all day and I am sure it brought me luck because I made 10 sales today on the newspapers.

Now it is next to my door. I think I should go to the garden center to buy a pretty pot for it. So even though I don't have a real garden or even any personal outside space, I have my stepdad's little garden (he gave me a big pot planted with pretty pink plants and ivy) and now Susan too :D I can make this work!

It's my party...and I cry if I want to :(

Had a lovely day today. It was my birthday last Tuesday so my kids decided to visit me today to celebrate. It has been since March that I have seen Nina and since Layla's birthday in February that I have seen son-in-law Erik and of course darling little Layla. My son Evan has been here more often, much to my delight.

So they arrived rather early. My house still isn't really a house (hardly any furniture) but at least that gave Layla plenty room to play. And that she did ;)

I was a little bit scared she wouldn't want to come close to me since she hardly knows me but instead she was very open to me. I still say she has her mother's looks and her uncle's character... Such a fun little girl! And Nina is an excellent mama! (And Erik a relaxed dad!)

We took her to the playground across the street and I really can't say who had more fun: Layla or the grown-ups ;) I am so proud of my children! And I love little Layla so much!!!

And then they had to leave again, Layla had to eat and sleep in time and it takes them almost an hour to get home. As always, the visit was way too short. I miss my kids and I miss my granddaughter and I felt so alone again here in this city where I hardly know anyone.

Oh well, let's just say this is good exercise for when I live in Chicago (Dan still says that's gonna happen :p )

You all have a great day and don't forget to say you love the ones you're with!

Hugz, Anna