New Year's resolutions.

Making New Year's resolutions, that's something I never do really. Because usually you 'forget' those within a few weeks, and mostly because I think every day is a good day to make resolutions!

Like, earlier this year I was challenged to write more often. And I think I did! I haven't written for 3 weeks now but hey, it's December, I was sick, had really bad internet... And I had to get ready for Christmas!

And I had a wonderful Christmas this year! In the week coming up to the big day I got spoiled by some Facebook friends. Joy, Andy and Frodo sent me a lovely care package with a calendar of their home town, a card and nail-art stuff. So sweet and thoughtful! And Hettie sent me a really wonderful card that folded out to be a snow globe. So cute! Peeps, you made me feel so loved!

Of course every year I get to spend Christmas with my kids and grandkids. Usually my son and I go to see a movie on the 24th but this year he went to have a day with his girlfriend and her family. So I was in his home alone...until my soulsister Patrizia came! She brought me flowers, chocolats and macarons and a lot of fun and gossip ;) 

I don't have much money but plenty of time so I had been buying Christmas presents for a while already and I had to pack everything at Evan's place. Luckily I am good at buying thoughtful gifts -if I may say so myself- so I had something nice for everyone and loads of stuff for the kids!

But the best present was for me! My wonderful kids have given me an Asus ZenPad 7 because my other tab died a while back. I just can't say how much this meant to me! Because somehow the camera on my laptop doesn't work anymore in Skype so I hadn't seen Dan in quite a while and now I can again :D

Erik, my son in law, cooked lovely 'cheffy' food, the kids were wonderful -I got to know Xavi a lot better- we watched a wonderful movie together...it was a lovely day!

And now I am back in 'far away' Alkmaar. Thinking about what my kids asked, to come live closer to them in a 55+ house. I'll have to get to work on that, get a medical declaration and stuff and mostly awknowledge to myself my physical health is not as good as I like to think it is! And the kids want me to come live closer because of that, so they can keep an eye on me.

So, I think that's my main New Year's resolution! Get closer to my kids and grandkids and stay close to all my Facebook friends! Dan decided he won't be coming in April but wants to spend my birthday with me so that's something to look forward to too. And I will be revising the whole smoking thing once again :p 

Got a lot to do and think about! And of course I wish all of you a year full of wisdom, health, warmth, love and friendship!

See you all in the New Year!

Hugs, Anna

Bad internet and the common cold.

Hey there everybody! I am back! From what you ask? Well from fighting a BAD cold! And I mean I had it BAD!!! We have a saying here that goes something like: a cold with a doctor takes a week and a cold without 7 days. Well this one took quite a bit longer, about 2,5 weeks and I am still not 100% but getting close ;) I guess it took so long because I had to get out of the house several times (for shopping, and twice a whole long day) and I got really wet in the rain a few times too. Sneezing, coughing, runny nose: blegh! I went through almost 500! tissues, no lie!

 

What I hate most about it, apart from my brain not working and sneezing all the time or my leaky nose, is that all food tastes like sawdust. I accidentally put too much sambal in my food one day and I only noticed because it made me sweat when I was eating it. Had that food for 3 days LOL. But earlier this week this week I cooked and...it tasted delicious!!! My tastebuds were working again!!! And that made me very happy :D

Starting about half November the internet connection went really really bad! We have wifi here divided over 5 appartments and I know everybody uses it but still, I never had it so bad. Well most of the time I didn't even have it, LOL. I went to the neighbor that has the router several times to complain and see what we could do. She said she had a bad connection too and that she called the provider and they said it was a point in the neighborhood that had disturbances and that they were on it :p 

Sure! I already have no working camera anymore on Skype and now no internet to talk with Dan??? We reset the password because turns out I was the only one paying for the internet here but of course the others found out and got the new password too when they promised they would pay. 

Now it works again most of the time. Yesterday I even had the superfast dl-speed I was used to! But I bought a wifi range extender, and due to my cold I haven't installed it properly yet (via WPS) because for that I have to go to the neighbor's house again and they have a newborn baby. But I'll do it one of these days!

Now you all take good care of yourselves and don't get a cold or the flu!

Hugz, Anna

Ode to my uncle.

Last week my uncle died, very unexpectedly. He reached the age of 83, so it's not like he was robbed from the cradle or something. But still, he was my only uncle left (I used to have 2).

Last Monday my sister called me, the one I never talk to. And she gave me the news. Aunt and uncle were on their way to bed. Aunt fell asleep before uncle came up, which was apparently normal. But then aunt woke up because she had to visit the facilities and didn't find my uncle so she went downstairs and found him on the floor in the kitchen. He was unconscious and was rushed to the hospital. And there he died, without ever waking up.

Willem de Vries, July 27 1932-November 23 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

He and my aunt had been together for 48 years! Never married as the hippies they once were. Uncle Willem was a fun uncle! When my aunt met him he worked for a theatre company, Proloog, quite famous in the Netherlands. He was a very creative man and had so much patience! I remember we were once making a 'death mask' of me but I couldn't go through because claustrophobia kicked in, and he was super nice about it. He was an art teacher to mentally disabled people and great at that. And he used to teach us kids naughty songs :D 

He also loved nature. My aunt and uncle had a boat for 15 years and travelled with that a lot. Later they bought a run down house in Chammeyroux, France, and he did that all up himself (with the occasional help of course). And he went on a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela...all on foot, and up until the Spanish border with his dog, who had her own little backpack.

Uncle Willem was a lovely man. My aunt has been having health problems and uncle took a lot from her hands and took care of her. Now poor aunt is going to be all alone...

We will miss you, uncle Willem!

Sometimes I would like

that yesterday never passed, 

because today everything is so much different.

We will miss him so much.

Condolences to aunt Puck, Marga and Pete, Anton and Dikkie and grand- and great grandchildren.

Taking life one day at the time.

Yeah, I'm still not a very happy puppy, alas. Life still tries to knock me down, and Depression is still sneaking up on me so I have to do my darndest to fight it. Being able to talk about it here is already a big help though!

My tablet died on me a few weeks ago. I use that mostly to read in bed so that's a real bummer. Ever since I had the tab I didn't buy any paper books, just e-books. And to read those you need....right. Now my laptop is showing signs of age too, lol. Well it's turning 6 years old in February so I think it's still doing well! My son is coming to pick up my tablet and my desktop computer soon and he's going to see what he can do about both and in the meantime I took a look for a new laptop, it's gonna be an Acer Aspire E5-772-356S. Mostly same as the one I have now, just newer. But that's gonna happen in May so I have some time to dream left. So bad news--> happy thoughts!

Every now and then I -finally, after a LOT of procrastinating!- perform a task that looked like a mountain (it's the Black Dog I tell ya!) but turns out to be a little molehill. Like today I put away my summer clothes. I know, even though it was 15C outside today, it is NOT gonna get any warmer any time soon! Looking forward to it it seemed a ginormous task...getting clothes from the wardrobe and dresser, exchanging it all with the clothes from the box, folding and putting it in the box, hanging the winter stuff...But it was all done in a jiffy and made me feel so much better!

And yesterday I had to go shopping, with a precise list so I wouldn't buy too much, lol. But the supermarket had something on offer I just HAD to buy: a Phalaenopsis orchid, full of pink blooms, for only €2! Just a wink from the universe to make me smile!

So, everything bad or sad, something happy can be found or presents itself to counteract!

Have a great day you all!

Hugz, Anna

 

The Big Black Dog is lurking again!

I haven't written in what, 2 weeks? But that is because I am busy. Busy staying ahead of that Big Black Dog called Depression. Busy keeping him small and not making him take over my life again. I know he's around and I see him from the corners of my eyes. 

I am not on medication. I don't want to really. Years ago I have been in therapy and my psych gave me tools to fight, and I still use them. And I really hope they will continue to be useful!

So now I try to do things that make me feel good. Every time Depression deals me a blow, I go in the counter attack. Today I had a really bad day, all I wanted was to keep my PJs on and curl up in bed. But instead I got dressed and put my wig on and jumped on the scooter.

I went to a supermarket I know here with a bake-off section and they have the BEST cinnamon buns. And to get there I have to follow a very nice route, past one of my fave buildings here in town (in my opinion of course): Huize Westerlicht (Western Light Mansion). A beautiful old building in Art Deco stile, or rather the Dutch version hereof: Late Amsterdamsche School. 

I love it. And it is in/close some sort of forest preserve. I can sit on a bench there and just gaze at it! It used to be a resthome for elderly people but now it has been empty for ages already, too bad. I am sure they could make it liveable again, make appartments there for elderly people and/or for young professionals.

Anyway, I had a great shopping trip and got me some goodies to eat, apart from the famous cinnamon buns of course ;) So I battled the Dog for another day. Oh and thank him because he made me write again, part of the therapy tools, hahaha.

I'll leave you know with a very nice video about the Big Black Dog, take the 4 minutes and 20 seconds it takes to watch it. And please let me know what you think, I like to get feedback on my writing!

Don't worry and be happy you all,

Hugz, Anna

Time flies when you're having fun!

I am soooo happy I am riding a scooter again! Ok, I was only 5 days without a working one but that really was the limit... I really need it! To get out of the house, to go shopping... Today my son called me. he said for as far as he knows now, the only problem with my scooter was...wait for it:.... NO GAS! He put gas in it and it works like a charm again. Now I can hear you say: no gas? Anna, are you maybe a little bit...stoopid??? All I can say is: OF COURSE NOT! I know where the gas meter is and I see it every day, I knew I had to go tank in a few days but the meter showed I was nowhere near Reserve even, and when it is on Reserve I can easily get to the gas station. So I asked my son to thoroughly check the meter, I don't want this to ever happen again.

In the meantime I have been shopping my petootie off ;) Hey, only stuff I needed of course! But I never knew I needed Colman's dry mustard for example, or onion powder. Told Dan last night: I really have to get me some onion powder, I find it in so many American recipes! And while I was at Sultan's, the Turkish supermarket here -they have the biggest and best selection of herbs and spices!- I also bought some stewing beef, some chicken livers, some chicken breast and a bag of little Turkish bell peppers to stuff and some more veggies. I really have enough food for at least a week and of course I refilled my pantry again!

And then there is the online shopping of course, my dear friends in China! I must say, I am usually happy with what I get. Most of it is at least value for money. But sometimes, really! Like, for example, I ordered a black velvet wig head from one seller. Really cheap, around €3. It arrived packaged wonderfully, wrapped in bubble wrap and then wrapped in some sort of cylindrical bubble wrap too. It was really perfect and I use it happily. Then I tried to order the same from another seller. When the package got here, I was already like: "Oh noooo!" And when I got it out of the plastic, my suspicions were true. The nose was pushed in, there were some ugly 'scars' on the face, a big tear in the neck and some bumps in the base that made it all wobbly. Of course I let the seller know and he was like: ' Oh, ok. Half refund good?' HELL NO! 

My Easter Island wig head ;)

A hat I ordered, as it came out of the bag :p 

But as I said: most of what I get is really nice! Now Patrizia ordered me a wig, cheap as chips so I am not expecting much. But who knows it is really nice? That way I know where I can order my wigs, right? I was already amazed that in the US you can get a wig for €150 that costs €750 overhere...same brand, same model, same color! So maybe they order them in China too? Well, we'll see and I'll let you know of course.

Have a nice day and shop carefully !

Hugz, Anna

Epic fail ;)

Yeah, I know, I lost my challenge Joy! But I really think my life isn't interesting enough to write about every single day...

I believe I told you my son put a new exhaust on my scooter and it worked like a charm again...for about a week. Last Tuesday it didn't wanna start again. He thought the sparkplug might be humid but he didn't have time to get the scooter right away (I do live at a 45 minutes drive from his place ). Now he thinks the problem is with the ignition coil and he came Saturday night to pick up my white scooter(well it's off-white really) and brought me my old night black one so I can get around in the meantime.

Because much to my chagrin I found out once again I can't walk distances anymore. Wednesday I went to the tobacco shop -which is quite close, 570m.- and halfway I looked a bit at the water from the bridge. And before I got back home I had a smoke on a bench. Now this was doable and I could have taken another way back home even, same distance, just takes me to the back of my home. But I wanted to get the mail.

Now grocery shopping is a whole different ballgame. For starters the shops are much farther away -800m. and 1.2km- and of course I would have a heavy bag of groceries. When I knew my scooter was dead for the moment I asked a friend if I could come with her if she had to get groceries and that was allright. But then her father in law who was at a hospice, was passing away. So she was with him all the time and not at the supermarket! (Of course!!!)

 Now that meant no shopping for me. I was gonna run out of milk and bread and diet coke but since Monday was my Lidl day I had a bit of everything so I wasn't gonna die, haha. I always have things like bacon and grated cheese and canned tomatoes and pasta and stuff. You know, a little bit of a 'pantry' in my miniscule kitchen.

So, I really ate like a princess I must say. I missed my caffelatte and my bread in the morning but I had Senseo coffee and crackers with cheese and a delicious dinner every single day! My son was going to be here either Saturday or Sunday he said so I could go shopping with him. But then much to my surprise he came Saturday evening after work and he didn't just bring me the replacement scooter but also a pound of frozen chicken gyros and one of his delicious pizzas!

And of course I could go to the supermarket again on Sunday!!! Oh and I have learned 2 things this week: ordering groceries online is a hassle, because you have to order 4 days in advance...and I did order food online here for the first time! I have to do that at least once a month I think ;) 

Have a nice day you all!

Hugz, Anna