Ok, the sad truth finally came out!

Yesterday I called work  again and asked to speak to Janet. She was in a meeting and I was promised that she would call back later. I waited and waited...to no avail. So I called back today and got her on the phone. And finally she gave me the truth! According to some new law or new policy they have to wait 3 months until they offer a new contract! So they can't offer me one before November 19th!!! I was like...WTF? 

Really, I 'exercised' my ass off to get over the Bell's palsey and in fact would have been ready to work again starting September but then she had the excuse work was slow and I could start again in October. And now this crap :(  I told her I was very disappointed and would have liked to know this earlier so I could actively have searched for another job.

Because that's what I'm gonna do. I found a job opening for Customer Service at a big seed company in Enkhuizen, where Andrea lives and I am gonna apply to that. Might I get the job I'd be killing 2 birds with 1 stone because my son finally gets his appartment back and well, I'd be having a job :')

In the meantime money is really tight since Social Services deducted the little money I made from this month's allowance and my scooter finally decided to...well...kinda die on me. So I had to order the exhaust. Luckily that cost quite a bit less than expected and the shipping and handling was even for free since my order was over a certain amount of Euros.

On a (much) happier note... Dan and I are planning our next vacation. It is supposed to be from April 29th until May 13th 2012. Of course I keep saying to him: IF I have a job because otherwise there is no way in Hell I can even buy me a ticket to the States. But he's being totally positive and even made some reservations already :p I wish I could be as positive as he is...but finding a job is about the hardest thing I have done EVER. Of course the economy and my age aren't helping either.

Last week I put away all my summer clothes for the winter. The weather was really sucky, cold and wet so it seemed a good time to do so. But of course (?) this week the weather is absolutely lovely! We seem to finally get the summer we never had this year :p (Oh wait I keep on forgetting those 2 weeks in April ;) ) Today it's even 26C/79F! And all this week and next week temperatures are gonna be in the 20C/70F's... Oh well, I have some 'wear-through' clothes handy and of course the boxes are only on top of the wardrobes so access is easy enough ;)

Anyway dear readers, I have stuff to do, think up a nice application letter for the Customer Service job and get that on it's way! And I really refuse to let anything of what happened to me bring me down!

So have a great day y'all, speak to you soon again!

Hugz, Anna

Grrrr, still no work!

Called work again today. As I feared Janet had a bit of bad news for me: 2 projects didn't come through so at the moment she doesn't have work for me. She promised she'll call me as soon as things pick up but has no idea yet when that's gonna be... At least October looks good but she's gonna look for something earlier. 'Don't call us, we'll call you' :p

Well at least I get things done about the house now. The weather is really bad here and I am thinking of taking some of my winter clothes out of the boxes and put some of the most summery stuff in. We had such a bad summer that I didn't even use most of my summer clothes!

My scooter needs repairing...and that is mostly why I really want to go back to work: it's just a money thing! I need a new exhaust, a new battery, a new sparkplug and idealy a new backtyre too. Luckily my son and his friend have promised to do the repairs for me, otherwise it would cost me too much really. But still, I need money for the pieces. 

That's my sweet little scooter :) I have a basket on the back, since I use it mostly to go shopping now, I go to work by bus. And even though I have to kickstart it every time I use it, I still love it dearly and couldn't do without it!

So I'll just go on being bored now...damn I was so happy to have found a job after a year and a half! And then the damned Bell's palsey had to hit me :(  I'll just wait patiently I guess...and call Janet every Monday from now on :')

You all have better luck than me ;) See you next time...with better news I hope!

Hugz, Anna

Doctor, doctor...gimme the news...

Yesterday I called work, because I got a rather disturbing letter that I was fired starting August 18th. Luckily my trainer told me they had apparently sent the standard letter and that I can start working again as soon as the doctor says I can and they have a new project for me.

And today I visited the doctor. Well a substitute doctor really but she was pleasantly surprised with the great progress I made. She gave me a tip for my pain medication for the nerve pain too: 1 ibuprofen and 2 paracetamoles 3 times a day, that should work a lot better than just 2 ibuprofens or paracetamoles.

She asked me to come back in 2-4 weeks just to see how it all develops, and to call for an appointment immediately if my condition deteriorates - which isn't really to be expected. So all good news there!

Monday I expect another call from work again and I hope I can start as soon as possible!

Today my kids got called by my sister's son. He has hemachromatosis, a blood disease that causes iron overload. He has to start weekly bloodlettings next week until his iron levels are normal again and he will have to have regular bloodlettings for the rest of his life. He inherited this disease mainly from my dad and probably his dad had a gen for it too, since neither I nor my sister has the disease, we are both only carriers.

Of course my kids were all worried and asked me if they had to be tested for it. Well, Nina is a bit anemic and they found out she has beta thalassemia minor - she got that from her dad :p So she can't even have hemachromatosis. And Evan wanted to know if he has to be tested for either but I told him to wait until he has a girlfriend and he gets her pregnant :p There is such a slim chance for him that he has one of the diseases, he may just be a carrier for both.

So in fact: all is well ;) Have a great day all and see you soon again!

Hugz, Anna

'Yay!'she said SMILING!

I am very happy to announce that...the right corner of my mouth is starting to work again! And yes, I can smile again :) It's a bit of a crooked, lopsided smile but who cares, I see progress and that after just 2 weeks. I have an appointment with my doctor next Friday but if things keep on going the way they are I have a good mind of calling work and telling them I'll be back next week!

Have to say: I am so relieved that it didn't take my mouth months to get better! And although my face still hurts, I can at least articulate again and that's all I need to get working again :) Guess the exercises did work! I guess the pain in my face is nerve pain and I am taking painkillers for it but all and all I am so happy I could just jump around!

Truth be told I never expected to get better this soon and ok, my face is still drooping but I have faith that's gonna be allright too, and I don't care if that's gonna take 3-6 months or even a year. As long as I can talk I can work so that's good!

Ok, don't have much else to tell, just wanted to share the good news with y'all :)

Have a wonderful day!

Hugz, Anna

(Temporarily) Laid off...

Got a phonecall from work today. They asked how I'm doing and when I can come back... Of course I had to explain Bell's palsey again and also had to tell there's no saying when it'll be over.

So since I was still in my trial month I am gonna be temporarily laid off. Have to call them when my mouth works again so they can give me a new contract. I KNEW IT! Why can't things just go smooth, why do I have to get some obscure ailment nobody knows what starts or ends it. I hate this! With my first pay I was gonna repair my scooter finally and from there on I could start saving money... Well, looks like that's all gonna be delayed now.

I am so, so sad about that but I understand work too. Shit happens apparently.

On the other hand...I DO have more time for reading now. Last season I watched this great HBO series, A Game Of Thrones. It is based on the 'A Song Of Ice And Fire' series by writer George R.R. Martin and my son gave me the first 4 books in paperback format for my birthday. They're all about 1000 pages so although they do look 'small', the paper is thin and the letters tiny ;) I have been walking around with 'A Game Of Thrones' ever since I got the giftbox, I read some in the bus going to work, and always read 1 or 2 chapters in bed before going to sleep.

I am VERY happy to announce I have started in book 2 now: 'A Clash Of Kings'. And since the HBO series followed the first book very well I can't wait to see the 2nd season... and I am reading it now :) The books are lovely, well written and I don't think it's gonna take me almost 2 months to finish this one.

There was another tv series I well liked: 'Legend Of The Seeker', based on the books of Terry Goodkind. And that writer has written another book, first of a series too I think, called 'The Laws Of Nines' And guess what: my son bought me that book too :) In Dutch this time but who cares ;)

And of course part 5 of 7 of  'A Song Of Ice And Fire' is just out now! Only in hardcover edition for now but by the time I am ready for it it should be out in paperback :)

So you see, I have LOTS of reading to do...now that I have lots of time to do just that!

Y'all have a great day, 

Hugz, Anna

Bell's palsey really sucks... Ben&Jerry's therapy helped a bit :p

Here I am, writing in the very early morning hours, haven't slept yet. And I can't sleep. Not because of my eye, that closes ok at night, I just have trouble keeping the cornea hydrated by day since I can't blink. But I'm gonna call the doctor for drops or a gel today, promise!

Yes, my face dropped a bit more since everything started. My speech is even worse than it was and things like eating and drinking aren't going too good either. I have been to the doctor on Friday and he told me again it may take up to several weeks or even months to heal and he gave me another appointment for over 2 weeks. He even said the Prednisolone might not even work, and make me depressed. Bloodglucose is through the roof.

How encouraging is that huh? Well I have Prednisolone for one more day and then I'm at least done with that. 

I decided on some therapy today. Ben&Jerry's whole pint therapy! I got me a pint of something new-ish I had seen: Coconutterly Fair. Choco icecream with coconut caramel swirls and chocolatey coconut caramel crunch. Took me almost an hour to finish the whole pint and it was sooooo DELICIOUS!!! Got me in a total sugarrush and I felt happy for a few hours :p

Hey, I promise: I only do something like this when I really really need it! It has been at least 2 years since I ate a whole pint of B&J's! I think I had 1 or 2 of those tiny 1 person tubs in the meantime!

But...damn! I was so happy I finally landed a job and now...I don't know what's gonna happen! I am still in my trial period so I have no idea what the consequences are gonna be... I may even be laid off again :( I'll tell them I'll do anything, as long as I don't have to talk...

*Sigh* Should see if I can get some sleep at least...otherwise I am gonna have a looooong day ahead of me!

You all stay safe and healthy!

Hugz, Anna

Silly face...

Yeah, so I am all happy to have a job again and after a long weekend I'm all ready to go back to work. But then there was this....little snag on Monday.

I woke up with a massive headache. Nothing to worry about I think, that happens quite a lot lately so I take 2 paracetamols and just go ahead doing what I do usually in the morning: watch stuff on BBC and look at my mail and FaceBook. I made coffee and when it was ready to drink I take a sip and...what the f***? Coffee is coming out of the right side of my mouth. Oooookay.... So I take a mirror and have a look at my face. It doesn't look allright so I start making faces at it. And find out that the right side of my face is not working along with the left side.

Well, I kinda dismiss it, thinking I am tired or something and I go shopping, had to go to the mall because the supermarket there had some nice offers and *cough* my fave clothes store is right next to it and they had some very nice offers too, end of sales ;) I got a top (was €19.95 now €7,00), a fancy short jacket (from €34,95 for €7,00) and two pairs of leggings (each from €14,95 for €2,00). I looove shopping like that :D

When I got home again I decide to take another look at my face and had to admit it got worse. So I decided to look up the symptoms on the internet and think: oh I just can go to work tomorrow and visit the doctor on Wednesday. 

At night, when Dan got home we talked a bit and Dan is definitely concerned about me. He tells me numerous times to call the doctor immediately but I tell him it's night so why bother them with something minor. He even tells me to call off work (something he'd NEVER do) and please visit the doctor the next morning then. But I am still stubborn. After we turn on the cams his concern even grows, and I can see too my face is really drooping. Since I smoke like a chimney and am a diabetic Dan suspects I might be having a TIA.

Ok, now I am starting to get scared. And when my sister Andrea comes online the two of them start to chat behind my back and Dan tells me to go online with Andrea and show my face on cam. Reluctantly I do and she too starts to tell me I may be having a TIA and should call the doctor immediately. So okay, to make the two of them happy I make the call and have to go to the hospital immediately. Have to call my son too to take me there because they don't want me to drive myself.

Keep in mind please it is 4 am by now! And I am a bit scared but still really convinced it could have waited until morning! My son got scared by the word TIA, one of his sister's friends just had a stroke at 22 yrs of age...

When we get to the hospital the doctor is very nice and diagnoses me with what I thought it was all the time: Bell's palsey. He too says I have the risk factors for a TIA so it is good I came by and because the palsey only started in the afternoon he wants me on prednisolone as soon as possible to have a better chance on healing. He gives me a patientletter to read everything once again and puts a special little insuline schedule on it because the prednisolone may highten my bloodglucose.

So here I am now, taking my meds, monitoring my bloodglucose levels, talking like I had half a bottle of whisky too much and dabbing my eye and nose with a tissue because stuff keeps coming out :p Can't eat soup (bummer, my ultimate comfort food :p) and drink coffee through a straw. It can take weeks to months before I am all normal again. I just hope my speech comes back first because I wanna work!!!

On the other hand, I am in the good company of people like George Clooney, Milo Ventimiglia and Joe Mantegna. I think especially the last two are still a little bit lopsided but I also think that's kinda sexy ;)

Well, it's time to face the world again and go do some shopping. Cy'all soon again!

Hugz, Anna

 

Working Girl...

Today was my first day at work. I had to come in early because I had to turn in my contract and other papers before noon. Although I slept well, I woke up long before the alarm so I had ample time to get ready, and at work even have a (free!) coffee or 2-3, smoke enough to last me 2 hours and read a bit in the sun.

 

 

I am working on a new project for the company so my day started with a briefing. We're offering old clients a very nice deal to subscribe to a computer magazine. I wanted to look intelligent and ask questions but alas, it was all clear and I know the magazine well :D

Well, I made 7 sales in my first shift and was told that was very good for a starter on a starting project. I made one little mistake my supervisor said, and we're going to iron out some things later.

All and all, I am happy I have a job again even if I'm only a callcenter agent :D

Cy'all soon, 

Hugz, Anna

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...

I had a LONG talk with Dan last night. I really wanted to know what the hell was going on, why he doesn't want to marry me. I did more research and it turns out that, if I go to the US on a work visa, I will lose my Dutch citizenship in the end and I have to say, I am quite attached to that. While, if I get married to an American, I will get an American citizenship and keep the Dutch one.

Turns out he had his own personal reasons which he told me. He felt quite humiliated because it was stuff his Polish Opa taught him a man never troubles his woman with. But I told him Opa is long dead and we live in 2011 now, and we have a relationship based on equality!

Luckily it is all stuff that can be worked out, and no reason for me at all to feel personally rejected. Which, with my lovely self-confidence, is a big relief of course ;) It is just all gonna take a bit longer than expected but I'll be leaving for the US in the end. And that's what it's all about! (And I will be keeping my Dutch citizenship too *\o/* )

Yesterday my contract for my new job arrived. As I expected it was a 6 month, 0-hours contract which ends on 1/31/2012. When I go to the supermarket I'll copy it and send it to Social Services. I hope I can get to 32 hours FAST so I won't be needing the money from Social Services anymore and I can save some money and have my scooter repaired :p And save for my next trip to Chicago of course!

And of course I will still be searching for a job in or near Enkhuizen. There are some callcenters in a city near Enkhuizen but I will keep that as a last resort, since they never give you fulltime work right away. So either I have to have some money saved or just find another job.

Dan is still planning to come overhere. No word on when yet but this year for sure! It's been 13 months since I saw him last, well, saw him in real life and I miss him so much!

It has been a while but at long last a lot is happening in my life again. I have learned a lot in the time I was home jobless, most importantly I learned to live with little money so I can go on doing that and save, save, save! I have never had as little money as I had the past year and a half and I managed quite nicely.

I will try to update my blog regularly again, but no promises ;)

Cy'all soon again! *Hugz*

Anna

Yup, I'm back!

Nope, sorry, I didn't get Raptured :')

I was just a little bit bored and depressed and stuff because I have been without work for so long :p So I have a good reason to start writing again BECAUSE I LANDED A JOB!!!! Yes, a real paid one even :') Ok, it's not the best of jobs and somehow I am even a little bit ashamed because I am once again a callcenter agent.

Yes, I am one of those annoying people that call you when you least expect it to sell you something you really don't need. The callcenter I am gonna work for now is a lot bigger than the one I worked at before and the desks are nice and roomy and have little walls so they kinda look like cubicles. In my first month there I will work 12 hours a week although I will try to get that to 32 hours a week asap. And my first assignment there is working for a computermagazine I happen to know and like. So not a bad start! They already asked me for a multilingual project for a travel agent so I can use my English and Italian :)

Other news... I won't be going to the US on a fiancée visa because Dan absolutely doesn't wanna get married. The #@#&%^&%#^!!! At first I felt really personally rejected but then I thought: I am not gonna take everything personal! Dan is looking for a job for me, so let's all hope and pray he finds one soon :p

In the meantime: I can't really stay here living at my son's house. It's been almost 2 years now and still no hope for a house of my own... So my sweet sister Andrea invited me to come live at her house in Enkhuizen. So I'll need to find a job there and mooooove! My son thinks it's gonna be easy peasy apparently, I've been looking for a week now (ever since Andrea invited me) and my darling little boy calls me every now and then and asks: 'Well, found a job yet? ' *Sigh* Oh well...

Anyway...I am kinda hopeful again and happy I found a job at least! Time to crawl out from under my rock again ;)

Have a great day !!!!

Hugz, Anna

Eeeewwww...today the Rapture is coming!

I've been hearing a lot about the End of the World as we know it and the so-called Rapture this week. Supposedly today all the Good Christians, dead or alive, are gonna float up to Heaven, leaving all the other religions and sinners here on earth until October 21st or something. And the world will end in fiery chaos. It's supposed to happen at 18:00 (some) US time, I believe they use California as a starting point.

I am so sorry, but I am left with a lot of questions... Like, is it gonna happen all at 18:00 hours California time or at alternating 18:00 hours starting in California? Which would make more sense since there's gonna be a LOT of floating up ;) And why only the good Christians? I am sure there are a lot of good Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists etc. etc. too. Don't they deserve a place in Heaven too?

And this is all taking place in 2011. Wasn't the world gonna end in 2012? For as far as I know the end of the world according to the Bible is 'going to come like a thief in the night', so nobody is gonna know about it in advance. Hmm, been reading up again, and it's supposed to happen at 18:00 in every timezone. So it has started already and people in New Zealand and Australia are ever so disappointed because they didn't see anyone beamed up.

And what a time, 18:00 is supposed to be dinner time, can't we get a good bite to eat and leave with a full belly? Hmm and maybe there just weren't any good people in the Pacific? Questions, questions, questions...

Maybe mr. Camping was wrong (again, since he predicted the end of the world in 1994 too :p ). And if he was, we can all comfort the Rapture people tomorrow and cheer them up, saying: "Hey, it's not the end of the world..."

Have a great (last) day all, and live like it's the last day of your life :) XOXOX

Is the US a 3rd world country? ;)

Tuesday 3 weeks ago I sent Dan a big envelope containing (photocopies) of documents and 2 american size passport pictures, via Priority Mail. According to the TNT site (that is the Dutch postal service) mail to the US arrives in 3-6 (work)days. According to my experience it takes 10-14 days (including weekends). I know in Illinois mail isn't delivered on Saturdays anymore because of being too expensive but 2 weeks? Come on people!

Of course I've been asking Dan almost daily for a week and yes, Tuesday he had news: a card had arrived. Ehm, ok....I sent him that card a week after the documents. So my huge white A4 (a bit bigger than the US Letter-format) envelope went missing? Did customs take it and open it and think: oh that lady just wants to immigrate here, let's lose the whole bunch?

It were just photocopies of some stupid documents needed to file for a petition for a Fiancé Visa. And you wouldn't think I'd have to send them via registered mail now do ya :(  Oh well, today another big white envelope has gone to the mail office, with the same documents in it and my last 2 pics. This time it was an A5 envelope though, half the size of the other one. And yes, I forked out €16,50 (well my son did really :p ) to send it via registered mail this time. I have a track&trace number now, and I WILL track AND trace!

Of course only now I am writing this blog I am asking myself if I signed and dated the G-325A form and I don't think I did :p So just printed out a new one and sending that all alone...GRRR sometimes I hate myself :') Oh well, a little walk to the mailbox won't hurt me ;)

Well, I know the Dutch mailservice is very swift and accurate so now I just hope the American mailservice will be just as nice! So mister mailman, please take all my mail directly to the right adress please!

Oh, and if all goes right I will be contacted again soon by the hospital, they have started the dialysis project I was asked for when it was in the developmental stage. So let's hope that job will be mine :)

Have a great day all, and talk to you soon again! XOXOX

So, so disappointed :(

Just had an e-mail from the hospital. I was doing volunteerwork there? Well, I got rejected :( Not because of my personality, but because of my physical condition. The ladies I worked with said I was short of breath. Well I think they run around like crazy up and down stairs, I need some more practice for that :p I have done it for 3 weeks now and was gonna try out again tomorrow but that's no longer necessary.

DAMN! I feel so... Can't even find a good word for it, disappointed doesn't really cover it. Feels like: even if I come for free they don't want me. I sent the volunteer coordinator my resumé, I was gonna bring that once I got my contract as asked but who knows, she may even find something else for me to do. Because I just refuse to take this as a personal rejection ;)

And I think I should start 'training', walk along the canal to the rosegarden and back, and maybe even to the supermarket :D I have been sitting in front of my computer for far too long now...

Well, have a good day you all, XOXOX

It's that time of the year again :p

*Sigh* Yesterday I got a letter from the health insurance company that they are gonna make me pay my 'legal own risk'  of 170 euros again... I believe last year that was in either October or November but hey, it's never a good time to be having to pay that kinda money (when you don't have anything extra coming in and you're living under the poverty norm:p). Wish I wasn't a diabetic so I wouldn't need insulin (that stuff COSTS).

Oh well, guess I'll have to come up with a cunning plan to pay my bills, have food on the table (and cigs to smoke:p) AND see about paying that load o'money... Anyway, I'm kinda f*cked for May and June now :p Didn't have plans for my birthday really but I guess I can say now forget about the b-day alltogether.

I really hate living like a pauper the way I've been doing the past year. And things can only get worse really if I don't find a job, ANY job, really fast... Like, I have to find other living quarters as soon as possible.

And if I find a place to live, how the h*ll am I gonna furnish it? It's things like this that keep me awake at night. I guess I shoulda known when I divorced...

But I know I will come out of this situation somehow, and I will come out of it stronger! I will have learned so many valuable life lessons too... It's just the learning process that really hurts :p

Count your blessings...and have a great day! And for all moms outthere: have a wonderful Mother's Day...

XOXOX

The Care Package arrived....!

 Yes, it finally arrived! This morning at 10:45 :D

I had slept with the bedroom door open for a few days because I had no idea when it would be here, until Dan gave me the tracking number and I checked on the UPS website ;) Apparently the package took the scenic route, went from Philadelphia to Köln in Germany and from there to Bruxelles in Belgium. We were kinda joking and 'hoping' it would go to Paris and Milan and Moscow too ;) I'd never go to those places but it would be nice if my bag went there...

Well, Dan wanted to see my face when I opened the package and so I waited for morning coffee which for Dan is at 06:00 and for me at 13:00. First thing I saw was ( I thought) a scrap of paper but it turned out to be a pastel portrait of Dan :) A friend of him made that several years ago (in 2003). So that was the unique thing, and it was Dan too, just as he said .

Then, rummaging through the polystyrene peanuts, I found the ballast, some whisky boxes, one with an (empty) bottle even. Very pretty, but I never expected the last box to be...full! A beautiful, satin-lined box with a FULL bottle of The Dalmore King Alexander III !!!

It's the one on the right, the black box... the brown one is a bottle of The Dalmore Gran Reserva that I got for my birthday almost 2 years ago. The bottle itself is very pretty too, it has an embossed metal staghead attached to it and a cute black satin ribbon :) Of course I am not gonna open it yet, I'll wait for Dan to arrive so we can savour it together! And I am sure the bottle of Gran Reserva will be drunk too :p

But that wasn't the only thing in there... I also found the prettiest Betty Boop handbag and a (very american;) ) wallet in a box. I say  very american because it has a thingie for a cheque book and loads of space for cards, but hardly any space for cash money :') I took out the cheque book thing and rummaged everywhere for cards and managed to fill it up ;) Anyway, it's pretty as a picture and so I made one :

The Betty Boop logos are enameled metal, they're both different: the one on the bag is heartshaped and has rhinestones and the one on the wallet has Betty winking :D And of course all my stuff fits in it, Dan is a good judge of 'black holes';)

So I sat there with a stupid grin on my face...well he said it was a charming grin but he is such a flatterer ;) And that grin just wouldn't go away...as a matter of fact I think I am STILL smiling :)

Anyway, I have to go iron my dress and get ready to go to hospital for my last 'try out'.... 

Have a just as wonderful day as I am having ;) XOXOX

 

Almost two weeks later...

You know, I was planning on being a good girl and posting a blog last week but something prevented me from doing that. When I go to my 'blogger's dashboard' I see the news of the other blogs I am following and something caught my eye: a new website! Vivian Maier was an amazingly talented street photographer who got discovered by chance and the guy that discovered her was keeping a blog and now made her a website, is working on a book and even a documentary! I totally LOVE her pictures, wouldn't mind having some prints on my walls really... Go have a look and prepare to be amazed... http://www.vivianmaier.com/

Ok, so I apparently survived Easter. I am still getting adjusted to 1.) Being divorced and 2.) Having no money. Both really mean my holidays aren't really holidays but just boring sitting inside days. Dan was having family over, my kids were working... Oh well. We just got Queen's Day, Pentecost and my birthday coming up and after that I am safe until Christmas.

Last Tuesday was my first time of volunteering at the local hospital. I am supposed to 'shadow' an experienced volunteer for a few days, to see if I like the work and to see if they like me. I am doing the 'eating project' at the moment, that means helping people that can't eat themselves or stimulating people that don't really wanna eat. Have to say: I like it! It helped of course that there was a birthday, with pie, and that I got 2 left over Easter desserts ;) I will be going again tomorrow and next Tuesday and after that we decide...

I am so excited, Dan has sent me a care package and it's supposed to be arriving one of these days. I know there is a too cool Betty Boop handbag in it (black hole size ;) ) and a Betty Boop wallet. And a lot of other stuff he won't say :D Yesterday he and Andrea were both torturing me on MSN because Andrea knows one of the other items in the box. Box is 12"x12"x24" (30,5x30,5x61 cm) so quite a biggie and Dan said there is ballast inthere to stop the other stuff from rattling and that it's not just polystyrene peanuts but also stuff I will like. He even stopped me from eating my blinis with smoked salmon because something in the box will go so well with that.

He and Andrea just keep torturing me... You know, I can totally forget about the box having to arrive or what's gonna be in it but not if people keep reminding me every single day! And Dan is giving totally useless clues, like: one thing in the box is a 'one-of-a-kind',or: 'I am in the box' (riiight IF ONLY!) Andrea and her boyfriend are just laughing their asses off, and she says: 'If my boyfriend sent me something like that I'd cry for at least a week so prepare to cry for a month you!' and : 'He's the sweetest guy in the whole wide world, you just make sure to treasure him!' GRRRRRR! I can hardly stand the anticipation!!!

You know what the very worst thing is? I promised not to open the care package until we have camera-possibility! Because he would love to see my face... So I am hoping it arrives in the morning before coffee and not AFTER coffee because that would mean I'd have to wait all friggin' day until he gets home from work again!

Okay, I am gonna anticipate some more ;) You all have a great day and please help me hope the care package arrives in the morning ;)

 Huuuugz!!!

The garden...(and some good news too ;) )

Last Monday my son and I started to clear out the mess he made in the garden. Well, we got the extra wood he didn't need for the fence to the city dump and after that his back hurt :( He promised to be back every day of the week to clear out the rest, like the branches of the shrubs and the plant rests I raked out of the garden. But he was a no-show all week. He called yesterday he'd be here today (on the last day according to the letter he got) but again: nothing. Not even a phonecall this time.

I threw out a lot of stuff already, like the cardboard boxes and I put some of the stuff in bags. And now MY back hurts like hell. Well, I did have 2 hernia operations over 10 years ago and the doctor said he'd only give me a 7 year guarantee :p I am resting a bit now and will throw out the bags and the rest of the cardboard later but that's it really. I am so not risking my back any further!

A few days ago I was feeling really down. I miss Dan a lot, and the fact I see him on camera every day doesn't really make things any better. The fact that I will be here for another year and a half doesn't help either, especially since my son is talking about me being out of his house in 6 months or so. I do understand that of course but anyway, I was feeling so down I had to be dug up by a team of archeologists ;)

The day after I told Dan this, it was his day off and he had an appointment with a friend we met through Omerta at Golf Mill Mall. He was early and wandered around a bit and totally spontaneous bought me a handbag and a wallet... with Betty Boop! Of course he showed me both when he got home, wanted to see my surprised face ;) And he told me that now at least I have a little something to look forward to... Gosh, ain't he just the sweetest? He remembered I adore Betty Boop AND handbags and remembered my wallet is on it's last legs... Can hardly wait until the parcel arrives :D (I am glad he already showed me the prezzies so I don't have to wait all day until he gets home to open it :p) He is such a sweet and thoughtful man!

Oh and I got some really good news today :) Production on 'The Hobbit' has finally started, part 1 will be out late 2012 and part 2 in 2013. There will be lots of actors in it from the 'Lord Of The Ring' series and some really nice additions too, like David Tennant is rumored to play Elvenking Thranduil and Leonard Nimoy is rumored to be the voice of dragon Smaug. I am so excited! I can hardly wait until the movies will be in the theatres finally, or out on DVD so I can add them to my LOTR collection :)

Until then, we'll have to do with the trilogy :D I watched that with my son at last Christmas, all 3 extended DVD versions, LOL. I believe Dan hasn't seen it yet so I hope he'll watch it with me!

Ok, that's it for today... Have a nice day and an even nicer weekend! XOXOX

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Today is my mom's 69th birthday! So from this place I wanna wish her a very very happy birthday and hope many more will follow! Today is a beautiful sunny day and I know my little sister Nienke is there with her husband Patrick and their sons Daniel and Jasper, and mom's older sister and her hubby are there too. They planned on doing something nice today so I hope they have a great time:)

In honour of my mom (hihihihi, and because I love them too ;) ) I ate asparagus today... nice, thick, white asparagus with ham, hard boiled eggs and melted butter. YUMMMM!!!! The  first of the season, and hopefully not the last ;) They are quite expensive right now but hey, sometimes you just have to spoil yourself, because nobody else will ;)

Okay, that's it for today ;) Have a great day all, and cya soon! XOXOX

Lots to tell...

Okay, FIRST I want to apoligize for not writing in a whole MONTH! Sorry, sorry, sorry!!! Mea culpa and so on... But not that much happened, my life is quite boring really :p So I waited until I really had something to tell ;)

Last week I spent a few days at Andrea's house. We had big plans but her boyfriend was home early every day ( we thought he had the night shift but instead it was the early shift :p). So we shopped a little, talked a lot and we all cooked once. I met Andrea's best friend, Yvonne. She's exactly 364 days younger than me and a fun girl :) She came for coffee one morning and surprised me with a real Enkhuizer pastry for...breakfast! (Andrea and I are night people :')) I have Yvonne on Facebook and MSN now so...I made a new friend!

The volunteerwork is going to start real soon now too. I have my first appointment through Activite on Monday April 18th, with the coordinator to meet a lady that wants a companion. And the hospital had troubles getting the emails through so they finally contacted me. I have an appointment there on Wednesday, April 20th and the idea is that I will go help on the 'eating project' there, help people that don't want to eat or are having difficulty eating. I have to say, I am really excited! And who knows, I might do up some nice contacts :)

Spring is in the air (finally!) and the building society asked Evandro to do up his garden. I would have done it but I didn't have any tools and he has to throw away some stuff too. So last week when I was away he put up a fence with his dad and cut down a lot of stuff. He left the tools here so I cleaned out the garden and I bought some packets of seeds. Now if he gets all the wood and stuff out I can sow a myriad of summer flowers and we'll have a nice cottage garden :) And I'll have some nice flowers to pick and put inside too ;)

I have sown some plants inside too, like geraniums and carnations and cherry tomatoes, in little greenhouses. And some Nasturtiums (long and double/short) and herbs in the 2 planters. Last year I really couldn't be bothered, I just threw some stuff in the planters ( to see them almost dead when I came back from Chicago :p) but this year...I think I found my gardening 'gusto' again :) I may have to ask Evandro for the garden hose so I can keep the garden watered, in the 'old house' my ex has made a whole watering system so I don't think they'll need it.

Dan has finally sorted out his birth certificate, he's no longer born in 1978 :') So I no longer have a toy boy :p Of course this does mean we can FINALLY get started on the paperwork to get me to the US. I have to fill out some forms, get an international divorce certificate and have some 'american style' passport pictures made and send it all to Dan. And once he files the request it's gonna take at the most 15-18 months before I can leave the Netherlands for good... It's exciting, but also a bit scary, especially since we'll have to get married :') Oh well, I guess we'll both survive that ;)

My babygirl and her boyfriend finally got the key to their brand spanking new appartment today! I am so happy for them :) Tomorrow they'll start painting and put in the laminate flooring, and then it's moving time... Now both my kids have their own little flats :D I am a proud mom!

Well, I think that's about it for now! I'll try to post more often, and even tell about the boring stuff :p

Have a nice day and cy'all soon!

Well if nobody will pay me I'll just...volunteer!

Today I had an appointment with a coordinator at Activite, the care organisation here in Leiderdorp. Kerstin, my casemanager at Social Services, told me to look for volunteerwork if I can't find a 'real' job and so I sent some emails to places like the hospital, a hospice and Activite.

The people at the hospice are very lucky, they have a waiting list for volunteers at the moment. I will give them a call to ask how long that waiting list is, I have approximately a year and a half before I leave for the States so if the list is long...

The hospital....well they didn't even answer me. I guess that means they have enough volunteers :p Personally I would have answered someone that wants to volunteer but hey, I am not working there... I do think that in this way they don't really promote volunteering.

The coordinator at Activite had another place for me where I can ask if they need volunteers and Kerstin gave me a site too that I can look into so all and all I hope I won't have to sit at home here and be bored to death :')

Last week I picked up my new glasses. Apparently that change at my right eye made quite a difference, I can't watch tv anymore with my 'computer glasses'. But they both look good and I am very happy with them :D

This weekend I had a visitor at home, first time since the divorce really! Well, that is not counting my kids of course... My sister Andrea came for a sleepover. I went to pick her up at the station Saturday and we had loads of fun, with Dan too. She likes the food I like and she was really happy with the sauerkraut and pineapple ovendish I made. Sunday evening I took her to the busstop, it was really cold, so we both were like: nah, no scooter ;)

Andrea and I went through my wardrobes too, I still have way too many clothes! Well I got to throw away a few and Andrea took a few home but most of my clothes are basic classics, I just need a representative job to show them off ;)

And there we are again, back to me 'whining' about work :p I think I should stop writing for today!!

Have a nice day y'all!!!

Blegh...

Blegh...the weather really sucks today. It was supposed to be just foggy but apparently all the clouds decided to releave themselves and so it's raining. On a Saturday. Really GREAT :(

Well, it's not like I'm scared I'm gonna melt or something (oh if ONLY that was possible :') ) but today I was gonna pick up my new glasses, they finally arrived after a 3 week wait. But the store is rather far away and I'd be soaking wet by the time I got there. And wet is not the look I was going for really :p The glasses have to be fitted right and so on so I prefer to be dry, well at least my hair. Guess I'll be going Monday then...

Today just some grocery shopping, don't care to arrive wet at the supermarket :p Guess I'll be making some endives mash or something for the weekend, with gravy and sausage.

Yesterday the game I still play, Omerta, had a reset. As far as I know nobody got any vouchers or prizes or anything so we all started out as Empty Suits. For some strange reason I automatically fell into rankslut mode, something I hadn't done for the last 2 versions at least. Took me 6 hours to promote to Shoplifter and then I realized...Dan was at work so couldn't play and I'd have to wait hours and hours for him to make Shoplifter too so we could heist together :p That kinda took the rankslutting away again :)

Well at least I got my old nick Roma back, been playing with that nickname ever since version 2.2 until last version some horrible nicklamer STOLE it! And it was fun to see many old friends return to the game, I even got excuses from some old enemies ;)

So, I'll be playing in moderation today ;) Y'all have a fun day too!

Yaaay...got new schoolbooks!!!!

I don't know if I ever told you how disappointed I was with the basic training course for doctor's assistant. Well, just to recap: VERY disappointed! Especially one little book with a lovely title has proven to be an insult to my intelligence :p It's Dutch grammar and teaches you how to spell and how to write letters. I was like, ehm... DÛH!!!! The rest was very much like what I already studied for my Medical Office Skills, just worded different and much shorter.

But lo and behold! I was about to search for exam dates, I'd like to do one or two exams a day and preferably all in at the most two weeks, and I have to set the dates well in advance since Social Services is gonna pay for them and they already had a little... difficulty paying for the course :p But...very MUCH to my surprise the mailman had a package for me! A heavy one even! 

I wasn't expecting anything but when I opened it, I found a folder and 4 books, of which one in the folder. 3 of the books are about anatomy, physiology and medical terminology and the one in the folder is about management and administration. In fact, more of what I already had in Office Skills but this time they go way deeper! 

There was a list with it, for homework, spread over 33 weeks! So I have really something new to sink my teeth in :) And to keep me busy for quite a while. I am back to studying :D

Have a great time all and remember: you're never to old to learn something new ;)

NO, NO and NO twice over...

Sorry for not writing for a bit but I was kinda sad. I applied for 4 jobs and got a refusal on all 4 :(  I am too old, overqualified in some fields and underqualified in others. Of course I mailed everyting to my casemanager Kerstin and she invited me over to Social Services to have a talk.

So I was at Social Services this morning. I asked Kerstin about the JobCentre, said I was disappointed since I never heard anything from them anymore. Well, Kerstin did apparently :( The lady I spoke with overthere wasn't convinced about my motivation to work and thought I was conceited! I am shocked! Turns out she had an administrative job for me but didn't ask me because she didn't like me. And Kerstin didn't wanna disappoint me any further... *sigh*

Kerstin told me to look into volunteer work, to get new contacts, do up some experience and close the gap on my CV that is getting bigger and bigger :p And so I did, filled in some application forms and am waiting for response on those now. Of course I prefer working AND getting paid but I guess volunteer work would be a way to fight the total and utter boredom I am living in now :p

We ARE getting closer to spring now (well, winter is just half over really but that means spring is close-ish right?) and I really should get my nose out of the door more often! And then I think about what I say a little bit and think: 'Where to?'

See, I am still a bit depressed really. Had a 'fight' with Dan last night so that didn't help my mood either... Oh well... I'll be writing again when I'm having some more fun, okay? Just wanted to let y'all know I'm still alive :p

Have a great day and cya soon!

Just another week...

It's February again...time flies, even when you're not really having fun :p I am finally somewhat over that Easter-disaster. Can't buy a ticket now anyway since I spent about half my tax money on things for Evan and his cats. Oh well...

I decided not to go for the horribly expensive Ray Ban glasses. €310,-, not in 310 years thank you very much! Instead I went to the optician where I usually bought my glasses and they had a very nice offer: glasses including lenses for only... €59,-!!! So I ordered 2 pairs, €118,- only ;) They will arrive in about 2-3 weeks. Ok, they aren't Ray Ban but they're cute all the same...

Today I also got some Rubber Repair stuff, to repair my boots. Damned kickstarter left me with a hole on the sole. And Evan is gonna find me a battery charger so my kickstarting days will be over. I must say, I didn't have much problems with my scooter the past few days! 

Must be because the temperature was a little bit higher these days. Temps are about 10C/higher 40'sF, gonna cool down a bit again. What was spectacular was the wind, 58km/h or 36m/h yesterday! And of course really hard gushes on open places like on bridges and inbetween flats. I had a hard time driving my scooter against it and was so happy I wasn't on a bike! Today was still quite windy but like the temperature the wind is going down over the next days.

Wednesday and Thursday my (chosen) 'sister' Andrea will be coming over! It's been ages since I've seen her, my birthday before the divorce if I'm not mistaken. I won't have the pretty house or the good food and drink that I had then but she says she's gonna be in the best company and that suffises ;)

Today is my little sister Nienke's birthday. I sent her a nice card with a poem inside and I wish her from this place too: Happy Birthday!!!

of course

Ok, that's about all the excitement I had this week! Ehm, oh no, I am forgetting my sales shopping spree! I went to downtown Leiden for a pair of comfy shoes I had seen on the website of the shoe store for only 20 euros. Had to park the scooter next to H&M and since I hardly ever go into town, I entered. They already had all the new spring stuff out but there was one rack left with sales stuff. And there it was, in my size, totally gorgeous: a beautiful black woolen coat. On the front it looks really neat and 'severe' but on the back it's a bit quirky: wrinkled with a little belt-like thingie. And it was only €20! Used to be €79,95. Also got a nice long red tunic there and a black top, 10 and 7 euros. In another store I bought a gray tunic for 15 euros and of course the shoes. Now that was nice shopping therapy ;)

But really, that was all I did this week ;) I'll have to study next week (and entertain Andrea of course) and plan some exams. I was waiting for another shipment of books but apparently the 4 I already got is all I will be getting :p Oh well, less to study :') (Especially since one book is all about correct spelling and use of grammar, don't think I'll even open that one :p)

Have a great time waiting for spring to arrive :) Huuuugz!!!

HUGE bummer :(

I waited and waited since last time I wrote for Dan's boss to come back from vacation and for Dan to talk with her about OUR vacation at Easter. Of course I was a bit in a hurry because KLM had special deals up until January 31st (booking time) for flights before June 30th.

But guess what... Dan isn't gonna get time off from work between April and June because inspections are expected and the labcrew they have are just enough to keep the place running. I was like... I can't even explain it. I wanted to break stuff, yell, cry...whatever. I wanted to die :( I miss him so so much and I have no idea how things will work out, all I have is those short vacations for now.

Some friends suggested I should go in July but I have already done summer in Chicago, twice really, the start and finish of summer. And it's hot and muggy. So I thought of something else... Why doesn't Dan come overhere in July or August and I go to Chicago for his birthday in November and Thanksgiving?

He thought it was a good idea too and it's an extra incentive to get his papers ready! Plus he expects a tax return and papers would make that easier too. So no more mercy, I am gonna PUSH him to get to work on that! Instead of asking once a month how he's doing I am gonna ask at least twice a week :') He's gonna have to deal with lawyers, or as he calls them: liars REALLY soon :p

Oh well. I was in dire need of some shopping therapy so I went to the mall to get another satin duvet cover, since they're on sale. I really went for the aqua colored one since I already have an aqua undersheet and pillowcases but the store had run out so I decided on dark gray and silver and black pillowcases, I already had a black undersheet. It's gonna look so cool with my black fun fur mink blanket and pillows.

I also went for a pair of glasses. I really want a pair of Ray Ban Clubmasters, for years already. But I found out that those including lenses are gonna cost me about €310,- so I am kinda thinking about that. Gonna see if health insurance and Social Services are gonna chip in :p If they do I might just get them ;) They're cute, purple and white.

Well, my shopping therapy kinda worked, I am cooking now and making my bed with the new set of sheets and hoping Dan will be here this summer...

You all just have a great day, and cya soon again!

Something to look forward to...?

Yesterday Dan asked me when Easter is gonna be this year. I told him it's April 24&25, no idea if at least Easter is 2 days in the States like here in Europe :p It's a late Easter this year and we were talking a bit back and forth and suddenly he asked....

'How would you like to spend Easter overhere with me this year?' Stuuuuuuupid question :') I would LOVE to of course! He's gonna see if he can get 10-14 days off at work and will get back at me with that news Monday...

Wow, 10 to 14 days to spend together! Can't even imagine how wonderful that's gonna be! Maybe we can get some more things off the 'what to do in Chicago' list, inside things, because on my question what the weather's usually like late April Dan said: rainy.

Well he said:'You know that painting of Seurat, Sunday in the Park? That's what Chicago's like in April!' I happen to know that painting, and I love it. If Chicago in spring is like that, I really can hardly wait to go :)

Doesn't that just look lovely? I think he really meant all the little points to be raindrops, but, I can't be bothered :p Chicago is great any time of the year, I have been there now in summer and fall so spring will be a nice change :)

He also promised me better accomodations this time, no more Esquire Motel after my last visit there. I said I'd sleep in a shed if necessary, and the Esquire wasn't that bad apart from the broken airco that never got mended and the asshole that took me for a 'working girl' :p

Well I have been looking up some ticket prices, nothing really nice but that must be because Easter is in the middle, looks like I might be flying KLM this time instead of United. But let's just wait until Dan knows more...

I am just so excited, something to look forward to finally!

You all have a great day, and I'll keep you informed :)

Have a VERY Happy New Year!!!

Hello y'all, I'm back... I was a tad too depressed to write but I decided I had to get over it and pick myself up again, and so I did.

My New Year's Eve wasn't too much fun. I was gonna go to the party at my friends house but her husband invited my ex-husband and I had to stay home. Well he's a client of their accountancy firm so I guess paying customers come first :p Too bad I heard it just the day before... but oh well, I got over it.

I had loads of food and Dan had the day off so I spent my time online with him, and I even waited until midnight his time so I went to bed at about 7:30 am :')

And then it dawned on me again. I am divorced, don't have a house of my own, don't have a job... *SIGH* I keep on looking for jobs but I am either too old, overqualified, underqualified or lacking in experience. Or just no luck, like the job at Social Services, I got an email that they are interviewing internal candidates right now. I saw that as a big NO but my son said: 'Mom, at least you're still in the running!' Positive outlook... I would LOVE to  get that job!

At least my tax money has come in, so my ticket to Chicago is covered for this year. I asked Dan when he wants me to come over but we haven't decided yet. And he says I am so good at living at a budget... Well I am scared the money will just slowly dry up and disappear :') Sylvia said this year we're not gonna wait that long with my taxes, as soon as certain papers arrive she wants me to bring them over and arrange for my pocketmoney ;)

I had a 'big fight' with my babygirl last week. I was adjusting some stuff on FaceBook last year, added some relatives and stuff. And somehow my status changed from 'in a relationship' to 'engaged'. I must have clicked wrong somewhere or something. I really only noticed it because I started getting reactions. Of course it doesn't help that I have set my FB language to Pirate English :')

Anyhow, babygirl got 'congratulated' by a friend, and threw a hissy fit. I can imagine of course, especially since her brother told me not to tell her anything yet, inform her of my plans as late as possible. Because, yeah well, it is kinda true :p Dan and I decided to get married so we can be together and that seems to be the only way to get me in the States permanently, since I won't get a work visa.

So I gave in. I apologized to my daughter, changed my FB status again (which lead to questions from the same people that reacted to my 'engagement'). I know, I am a wuss. But I did tell her that her dad and I have been divorced for over a year now and that it's time to move on! Oh well, at least I don't have to keep it a secret anymore :p And we're only planning to marry 'for the good cause'. We've both been married before and we'd both prefer to just live together. But that seems to be impossible alas.

Oh well... A new year has started, new chances all around. I decided that my Year From Hell really started when I got laid off last year in May so I still have a few months to go. But I have survived up until now and will go on doing so ;)

You all just have a wonderful New Year! May almost all your dreams come true, and may there always be at least something to wish for, because life without dreams is so boring!